Some people have dental and/or digestive problems necessitating a liquid or soft foods diet.
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Completely servicable juicer, 1000+ reviews, 49% of which are 5 stars.
Twenty five dollars in american debt restoration units.
It even does other things than juicing.
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There are some…choice…tidbits in the Recode puff piece that suggest that the leadership team embraces certain alternative ways of knowing with regard to food preservation.
To wit(in response to a snarky question from Sam Biddle, apparently this guy doesn’t know his audience):
So chi to me — and it’s kind of funny in that people will tend to make jokes about things. For me, I’m serious as a heart attack. So when I describe chi and life force and in preparation I really want to be clear. If you were to take a steamed almond and a raw almond, they look the same. But if you plant them, what’s going to happen to the steamed almond?
KS: It’s going to grow an almond tree.
No, the steamed one is going to decay. It’s going to rot. But the raw almond —
KS: Oh, okay. I’m not a farmer.
But you get now that if you steam it, you actually remove the life force. It’s dead. So it will just decay. But that raw almond will have that chi in it. And that chi will allow it to sprout into a seedling and grow into an almond tree and replicate itself a million times over.
LG: So chi is life?
It’s life force.
KS: Life force. It’s life force. But I think Sam asked the other question, why would anyone buy this because they could buy juice? What makes it more special besides the chi part?
It’s fresh. To me, chi was an esoteric way of describing that this is fresh. So most things that are in bottles and cans are frozen or pasteurized or processed. And Juicero, the shift in Juicero is like, we’re not selling juice. We are selling fresh produce and then the Juicero press presses out juice from the produce.
So, yeah, food preservation is being handled by someone who isn’t even a crypto-vitalist who likes to talk about enzymes and the sin of pasteurization; it’s being handled by the genuine article. It’s almost surprising that ‘electrosmog’ concerns didn’t scuttle the wifi interface…
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I think the true beauty of this crap is that the bags look exactly like IV bags. Fucking ‘tide goes in, etc.’ genius. Pure awesomeness [as long as you don’t shell out the money…].
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Ever notice that IoT is short for IdioT?
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TRIGGERED NOW.
I thought BB was a safe place.
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“Eat our products and they will sprout in your intestines.” Not seeing the selling point there. I am sure that E. coli has plenty of chi, which is why I like my food dead before it goes into my belly.
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[quote=“hecep, post:24, topic:99305”]
Couldn’t that be flipped into a positive feature?
[/quote]Hey, if the jamokes over at soylent can do it.
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This exactly. I love fresh juice, but rarely haul out my juicer, because it’s a big hassle, and unpredictable. Half the time I get a bag of carrots, they’re old, and the juice is pretty nasty. I have to clean and/or peel the carrots, peel/clean the apples or whatever else, and then afterwards take my juicer apart and clean pulp off of everything. It’s a giant hassle for the pleasure of drinking a glass of fresh carrot juice.
I can absolutely see the appeal of an actual cold-press juicer that uses pre-cut pre-prepped fruit/veggies and involves zero cleanup beyond tossing a bag of pulp. That’s what this was sold as, but it’s a big lie, apparently!
If you’re the kind of person who drops $10 a bottle on cold-pressed juice (which I am not), $400 for a juicer that lets you do it at home would be a good investment.
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Maybe I missed it here, but does anyone have info on their bag subscription plans?
It looks from their website that the bags must be refrigerated, only last 5-7 days, and cannot be frozen. Also that they ship them overnight, by preset schedule. It seems like you have to buy the juicer before you can see the subscription plans. I would be curious to see the total cost, including shipping, of the subscription.
I’m not seeing anything in your post that poses a significant roadbloack to my DotCom Millionaire plan. 
Dude did you see the link I posted? Its literally the exact same machine, but with back that YOU fill with your own fruit/veg! Then it “presses” the shit out of it, and you can REUSE the bag! Seriously, I want one of those machines!
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Whoa!! That’s super cool, and super cute too. I love the elephant bags. A $400 kickstarter is a bit out of my (post tax day) price range at the moment, but this is more what I have in mind, definitely.
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I love that the bags are reusable! No mess no fuss!
If I was going to spend $400 on a juicer, then I’d go with this one. In the mean time I’ll stick with my old fashioned press:
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How else would you know it was modern?
Nothing screams modernity like a device not working because the WiFi has gone down or requiring constant firmware updates.
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First thing I’d do with their purchaser list is sell it to Monster Cable.
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Here is their lolworthy response.
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Oh my god. Their response is basically “Well, yeah, it’s just a bag of juice you can squeeze by hand, but if you put it in the $400 web-connected device, we’ll shut it off automatically if we need to! Plus this thing squeezes a bag really well.”
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Holy crap, that is funny. “Hacking”!
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OMG, and they left the comments section enabled. Here and I thought I was going to get more work done today. lol
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