Fixed it for them.
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Based on the supplied video evidence, I think calling the stuff in their juice bags “chopped” is borderline false advertising. That stuff’s practically pureed. If the whole point of cold-pressed fresh produce is to deliver nutritional content that ostensibly gets lost in other products due to processing, I can’t imagine there’s actually any of that specialness left by the time it goes through their vegan meat grinder.
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An apt description:
I’m very proud of what my teams and I have accomplished in the last ten years, especially in regard to positively shifting the dialogue about our food system and how it can better serve all of us in health, nutrition, and sustainability.
Well he certainly succeeded in creating a dialogue, maybe not the one he was after, though.
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You see that he linked to the Keurig scandal as a self-evident example of consumer misbehavior?
This guy has been drinking his own kool aid. Or juice? I don’t even know anymore.
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There is an insane Indonesian action movie called “Special Silencers” about a corrupt mayor who kills people by giving them a pill which causes a tree to grow out them. It is kind of gross but quite entertaining.
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Apparently squeezing a slurry pack is now “hacking”.
Thankfully, our fearless CEO is here to set is straight on the true value of the ecosystem; and reassure us that, however easily our lying hands may be extracting juice, the slurry packs contain “produce”.
Faith restored!
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Seems…Suspiciously similar to the shady charities that shift to producing “awareness” in order to be freed from the burden of delivering results.
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[spoilers] A similar fate awaits the villain in James Morrow’s “Continent of Lies” (1984) [/spoilers]
Also there is this.
Juicebro!
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The 'roidheads will love that.
(Juicing = using steroids)
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There are 3rd party k-cups with WAY more coffee in them, in biodegradable mesh cups. You get a pretty decent cup of coffee out of most of them. Apparently the reason Kerig coffee sucks so bad is the water is too cold and there’s very little actual coffee in the cups.
Still you basically end up either using fresh ground in the refillable thing, or ordering better k-kups online. Not exactly convenient compared to a damn french press.
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That sounds hilarious.
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That’s a big trope in various Asian folklores. Also a classic lie told to western children to keep them from eating fruit pits. My grandfather had a very involved story of the time he ate an apple seed and a tree grew from his head, and that’s why he was bald.
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I didn’t understand most of what my grampa said. He didn’t make sense very often, but dad always understood him. And while I was very young, he taught me how to ride a bike. I lost him at 8. I should have taken more photos.
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I HAVE WORKED ALL NIGHT
PERFECTING DRM FREE HIGH FIBER PORTABLE JUICE ORBS
YOU CAN SQUEEZE NO LAWSUIT!
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Hmmm… tasty juice orbs!
You’ll make a million off this idea! PATENT IT NOW!!!
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I WILL CALL THEM >>SPORT CANDY<<*
*Totally original name you don’t have to look it up TRUST ME
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Update 9:42pm: We received an important update from Olivia Zaleski, one of the Bloomberg reporters who squeezed the juice bags. According to Zaleski, they “didn’t snip a hole on the end of the bag as your article says” but “simply applied light pressure to the bag and the juice poured out.”
“I know it’s hard to imagine that there is little more to this situation than a light squeeze,” Olivia added. The juice, it seems, is somehow even easier to squeeze than we previously imagined.
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OMG TWO JUICING UPDATE IN ONE DAY?
Juicero is suing Juisir for copyright infrigement? Because there can be only ONE juice press in your kitchen and it must come with QR codes or there will be no juice!
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