Don’t forget Lindt and his conching machine - there’s a reason why Swiss Chocolate is a capital-letter word 
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I think we need a companion Hallowe`en song hierarchy next year. Or at least a bracket competition.
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It always strikes me as silly how much hate those “anonymous” brown blobs (a.k.a. Mary Janes) get, especially how they end up ranked so much lower than…Mary Janes, despite being a slightly larger version of the same candy. And also pretty good. And also one of the few Halloween treats that avoids being either shitty American chocolate or shitty compressed colored sugar pellets.
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To be fair, Cadbury’s is (was) only good in comparison to Hershey’s etc. They always skimped on the cocoa solids too, just to a lesser extent.
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Did you mean to reply to someone else? I’m not sure I mentioned mary janes? 
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Just saw a different listicle on the 7 worst things to give out on Halloween. Six of 7 are also in your bottom tier, but strangely, you have cash money in the top tier, while theirs includes pennies.
Where do we draw the line on money? Obviously pennies suck. I would not be thrilled with (even a handful of) nickels. A dollar bill would make top tier, but 100 pennies I would throw at that house’s front window.
Discuss.
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This is mostly spot on, but WTF w/ the Whoppers hate?!?!?! They are malty crunchy delicious cocoa-fat-covered pieces of heaven. I eat them by the carton, I tell ya! Effin’ Whoppers RULE! (And Chick-O-Stiks, but you never see those in Halloween loot).
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BRB! Off to eat left over whoppers!
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malted milk balls are the best. enough said.
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Yeah, owned by a manufacturer of aerosol cheese. Jesus wept.
Never heard a good word about anything hershey branded. Not tried it myself.
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Rollos suck now.
The recipe has been drastically disimproved, with what used to be an actual chewy piece of caramel inside the chocolate replaced by a runny glob of some HFCS garbage, with no actual burnt-sugar (the actual caramelized part) caramel flavor at all, and all chewy texture gone, just a runny syrup with a flat sugar sweetness.
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i dropped it in, no amazing new insights or crosstabs. mostly? I saw? I really freaking like Reeses, like everyone else! 
A neighbor came by yesterday with a big steel bowl of assorted candy after the paltry showing of trick-or-treaters this year left our block. I pawed through the embarrassment of riches to find… some Whoppers. Yay! I love Whoppers. I also like malted milkshakes even though my Asian genes stopped producing most of the enzymes I need to digest such things decades ago.
I want to know what the hell happened to Almond Joy, Mounds, Heath Bars and Skor?!? Sheesh. Those are still in production, right? I mean, I find Lindt and Toblerone fine as far as chocolate goes (why are any Hershey products on this guide at all? they taste like cheese! or chalk! both!), but for those of us with a coconut habit, there’s just no representation here at all.
“Essential,” pfff! Survey sample was not random enough, methinks.
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Hear, hear!
My children have always know to set aside the Almond Joys, Mounds, and Heath Bars for me. Also the malted milk balls. They don’t understand my taste, which is probably why they don’t mind scoring some brownie points while getting rid of unwanted (to them) candies!
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I suspect you don’t have to ask them twice. 
When I was a kid, my sister was allergic to chocolate (see seems to have gotten over it in adulthood), so when we got home from trick-or-treating we’d have to swap a bunch of things. Luckily I adored chocolate, so I’d end up with all the Snickers and M&Ms and Tootsie Rolls and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Three Musketeers, while she made off with all the Nerds, Abba-Zabas, Pixy Stix, Skittles, Lik-M-Aid Fun Dips, Dum-Dums, Dubble Bubbles, and Bazookas. Weirdly, we always ended up with roughly the same amount of candy. I always tried to convince her to take the Chick-O-Stix and Bits-O-Honey, but she never bit.
And anyway, I’d always end up by default with half-a-dozen Almond Joys and Mounds bars, which were pretty much just as inedible to me as they were to her. I always felt that was unfair. I mean, just because I could technically eat chocolate-covered coconut without technically getting sick didn’t mean I remotely wanted to. God, I hate coconut. To this day I won’t eat a chocolate sampler without a cheat sheet, for fear of the lurking coconut one.
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I dislike coconut too. But the ones in those samplers I dislike most are the ones I can only really describe as jizz embedded in chocolate. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be, but it seems relatively common.
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Okay, you’re horribly wrong about liquorice, but I’m with you 100% here.
Bounty bars are disgusting. I still remember the first time I got fooled by one, thinking it was a Mars Bar or a Milky Way.
As far as samplers go, anything has to be better than those horrid strawberry/orange cream things.
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I don’t get the coconut hate, I have always loved those. We scored a few Almond Joy here. But I need to go to the Vietnamese market in Bridgeport to get my real coconut candy fix on, those folks don’t mess around.
There were a few interesting candies, but most of the offerings here were extremely homogeneous. It’s as if the local box stores were selling giant cheap assortments of Hershey stuff, and/or assortments of Nestle - which are even worse. No Mars, Dove, Necco, etc? I can appreciate frugality, but there are things I would simply never pass off to people as being food.
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Ooooh, Dove. The mrs knows and I concur. That’s real chocolate.
And the realer stuff is even better, that comes from the Italian deli downtown.
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