Generally I really dislike compressed lumps of sugar. But I do make a few exceptions, for instance Warheads, and Swifts sour drops. I like sour stuff. Doubly so if it has a bunch of hashoil in it.
I prefer to think of them as compressed lumps of old. But google tells me they recently reformulated them to make them softer. The presence of clove and black licorice flavors arenât enough to keep me interested.
Personally Iâm not into sour so much. But I remember Swifts being a good thing. Warheads were more of a bragging rights sort of thing. Back in the day a lot of them were spicy/cinnamon. The sours were just, less bearable? I dunno you bled more from them. I think I went 7 in a row once and an older kid made me stop. Told me the story of a kid in New Jersey who burned a perfectly circular hole through the middle of his tongue. Its totally true my cousin saw it.
I remember dissolving them in Jolt, tossing a couple pixie stix in and shaking. Youâd pour pop rocks in the results and spend a few hours trying not to puke.
I think they actually disappeared because they werenât making much money. But when they came back they werenât nearly as aggressive.
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See, pixie stix were also kind of obnoxious to me. By the age that it became popular to snort them (11 or 12 I think), I already knew how to get my hands on caffeine powder and use that to get actually high. Yeah, I was a bad kid. I knew a lot of stuff about drugs and such early on from voraciously devouring reference books and wikipedia when it came around when I was in high school.
Oh, and I guess I should point out: Getting proper high on caffeine is a wretched experience and I donât recommend it. When you get into overdose country, itâs no longer âenergyâ, and mostly just being sick to your stomach, profuse sweating, tremors, and hypomanic panic. Oh, and the feeling that your heart is gonna tear itself out of your chest because itâs racing so fast and beating so hard.
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Again pretty sure that was more about display. Middle School females will select the male most able to snort anything horrendous and painful. Or so we seemed to think.
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I didnât understand that until many years later. But yeah, I completely agree.
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Iâm still not sure why the mythical âgirlsâ (who were weirdly not the females standing next to me) werenât impressed when I charged a chocolate milk to enter the âwill he snort itâ betting market.
Women! Am I right?
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Well thatâs much better than anything we did. (For some reason, that answer didnât get recorded in the survey. Thank you for posting it.) Signed, One of the Hierarchy Co-authors
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Nice! I dusted off my ren fair/pirate costume.
How are Almond Joy and Mounds not included in this? Perhaps they are too polarizing?.. were the results found to be insignificant? I just dont understandâŚ
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Thank you!! I have never understood the supposed âqualityâ of Cadbury. Itâs Hersheyâs with worse milk, as far as I can tell.
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A brief note from the alternate reality I appear to inhabit:
Despite a bowl containing almost exclusively examples of the Superius Pecunia Layer (which, I note with satisfaction, were obtained prior to this studyâs release and without consultation to any previous year), our door-to-door beggars preferred glow sticks at a roughly 5:1 glow stick:candy (all types) ratio.
In other news, I now have a lot of spare candy.
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See? You do like hard candy! Just not the ones that suck.
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I am also at a loss as to why Whoppers are stuck at the bottom of the list, when theyâre right at the top of mine, along with the rest of the âproperâ chocolate candies. Iâve also tried Maltesers, and beyond the cool factor of being from the UK, I donât taste much difference at all.
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Ignore the haters. Whoppers are great. Not Reeseâs-great or Now nâ Laters-great but still pretty damn good.
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You know what (I think) is missing from the list based on tonightâs experience for me? Already open candy of any type.
Where does that rank?
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You are most excellent. 
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For another anti-cat quip, I present another pic of the tailless wonder (because sheâs a pile of sweet, sweet purrs).
And your love of circus peanuts isâŚanomalous.
Everyone professing love for black licorice can arm wrestle for my lifetime supply. That shit tastes like shit.
@JusticeMitchell: Welcome to the BBS. This is how to make first comments. Well done.
@art_carnage: Bottlecaps are my candy of choice. Razzles are almost legend, in the same realm as my beloved Fruit Brut cereal.
Out of all the mentions of vaguely chocolate based candies, no one has mentioned Twix. Generally, caramel holds no magic for me, and milk chocolate can DIAF, but Twix is mysteriously good. (Chocolate isnât so for me unless itâs around the 70% cacao mark.)
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We all 
@Donald_Petersen!
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