It’s actually 0.56 oz, and they make it clear it’s not for anyone jealous of teenage girls
Any man who ventures into the great outdoors is at war with the elements, and that fight cannot be won with a dainty little chapstick that tastes like strawberry smoothies.
Tested by active-duty military personnel, the unique formulation with SPF 30 holds up in the harshest conditions, even withstanding temperatures approaching 140 degrees. With a blood orange mint flavor, it tastes like it’s designed for men, not teenage girls.
Like most of these products I suspect their target audience is half people who think it’s hilarious and are laughing at the idiots who take it seriously and half the idiots who take it seriously.
“Can’t have one of those regular oranges! These oranges are soaked in blood! Like a man! Wait, what? They just call them that because they’re red on the inside? They taste basically like regular oranges? I… I don’t know who I am anymore…”
Are they aware that many lip balms now have SPF, that humans can’t withstand temperatures approaching 140º, and blood orange mint sounds exactly like what a teen girl might want as a flavor?
She wept at the sight of him, heroically fallen in his war against the elements. Specifically he had declared war on fire, it looked like. Alas, it had proven too clever a foe, and now all that was left of him was a charred and melted corpse. Only his lips remained untouched…preserved by the tactical protectant…and she indulged herself in one final kiss farewell. “Goodbye, love…oh, blech! Blood oranges and mint? Simply not something a woman like me can handle together.”
Love it. Just one note, if I may?
The “woman” should probably be “girl,” since it was probably a child bride, you know, one of the “teen girls” this stuff is not meant for.
I’m a stickler for accuracy.
If by “they”, you mean “the target demographic”, then no they are not aware. Or will not admit it.
However, if you mean “the marketing people behind this product”, I don’t believe the facts enter the conversation at any point. The conversations are all about “what words will make our target demographic feel like they want to buy this product?”
If you’re already loading up your survival pit with bulk items, a 13oz petroleum jelly is really the only way to go for lip care. None of that soyboy lip balm. Drill baby drill!
Try a Target. I know I’ve seen some lip smacker coca cola ones at my local one.
Is the magazine printed so super manly mens can casually leave it out on their coffee table or whatever?
Maybe their toilet, next to the tactical wipes
