Here you go:
Post can’t be empty.
Quirky slurches down in the captain’s cage aboard the Somewhat, stabbing at the Omni-Pay™ with the butt of the little black flag from his Drink-With-The-Little-Black-Flag. It’s a big drink. It’s not a happy drink. It’s a grim, somebody-done-somebody-wrong drink.
Tap, tap. Tap-tap-tap. Tap.
Beginning balance: 401.9 sb
First things first, ey? CLIK
give 44sb to Community Bank/David Falkayn Memorial Fund | (Pay back loan with interest)
Thanks, DFMF. Now let’s fix up our girl. Select Account, “Pete’s Scrapyard”. CLIK
-8 sb | Hull Repairs (x8) (add 16 HP)
Select account, “Ella’s Shipping Depot”. CLIK
-80 sb | Hull Plating (x2) (add 8 SH)
-100 sb | Scan Scrambler (x5) (add 10 ST)
-80 sb | Machine That Goes Bing! (x4) (add 8 EN)
Quirky: Liz-Tenant, that’s going to be a lot more Bing! than the twirly is used to, poor girl. Issue safety gear to crew on twirly detail.
Liz-Tenant: “Um, ‘safety gear’?”
Quirky: “Yeah, safety gear. You know. Socks, or pliers, or the like. Or maybe you can lay your hands on some of those 'No Damage and a Canned Ham’ tee-shirts. Liz. Srsssly. It’s gonna be a LOT of Bing!”
Liz-Tenant: Aye-aye, Captain.
Open “Mission Registration”. CLIK
b20 | Follow The Money
CLIK
Closing balance: 69.9 sb
Sssssss! Thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
b30 - Hull Repairs
b80 - Hull Plating (x2)
b40 - Machine that goes Bing (x2)
b120 - Gatling Cannon (x2)
b20 - Mission 1 - CLoud Busters
----
total b290
Lt. Rockford, it’s been a honor serving with you. Now, we could take it easy and deliver the mail. We’re ZepEx and that’s what we do.
But, you see Rocky, I don’t have a hat. And I’m not going home without a hat. Sure someone might mail someone else a hat. And maybe that package is undeliverable. And maybe I just so happen to forget to deliver it to the dead letter office.
You know who else doesn’t have hats? Drones. No sense in going after a bunch of hatless drones. Now, Giant rolling Pennies. Do they have hats, I don’t know. If they do, the damn thing would be too big for me.
So where does that leave us in the current situation? Cloud Miners have those nice little hard hats. I want one of those hard hats.
I’m guessing the badass space dragon is hidden inside that badass bad penny. I’m going to sneak up vewy vewy quietwy on that bad ol’ penny and listen to see if I can hear the dragon breathing. What could possibly go wrong?
Badass Loose Change of the Spacepocalypse
Starting Balance: b120
Sign me up for…
…and I’ll take on four drones.
Augment me with…
b15 Hull Repairs (HP 30 bringing the Blazer up from 69 to full health and hull)
b20 Machine That Goes Bing (x1)
b20 Scan Scrambler (x1)
Edit: Donating the remaining b15 to the Falkayn Memorial Community Bank as stated here.
Remaining Funds: b0
To: Falkayn Memorial Bank
Subject: Will
In the event that the Grand Striped Blazer gets destroyed, all remaining funds from I, Captain Sorbet Wooster, will go straight into the bank.
Godspeed,
Captain S. Wooster (GSB)
-Beware of the Sweater-
I’m going to show these Unizone thugs a little something on style, make sure that burnt scrap matches the logo. It’s time for some DIY!
Somewhere in the medical bay, Jonah fiddles around with an android’s mechanical cerebrum. Hearing Wooster laugh and gurgle, he mutters, “Jumalani, he’s lost it.”
Falkayn Memorial Community Fund Current Status
Starting Balance: 158.3
Welcome the the Board of Directors, Captain Newlireconstructed
Intermediate Balance: b302.3
also Payment Due of b25.3 from @rkt88edmo
Two loans have been requested thus far:
Approved.
transfer b3.7 to @OtherMichael
transfer b80 to @Glutnix
(usual terms: full loan amount + 10% due upon completion of mission)
Current Balance: 218.6
Duke Mardukas
Cyborg Professional Accountant
Principal, Endogenous Escrow
This interim report was prepared on a “best efforts” basis, pending further corrections or inputs.
@daneel @old Right. Wills. Maybe I should check and see if any of those corpses left ya’ll anything.
Mission Orders (@patrace):
-b26 | Sent to Community Fund
-b3, 6 HP | Hull Repairs
-b40, 4 EN | Machine That Goes Bing x 2
-b20 | Mission 2 - Follow the Money
-=Sined=Sealed=Delivered=-
TEN DRONES IS THE BEST WAY TO GO!
I requested to put my unspent b80 into the fund (hopefully to get it back if I survive the next mission) so it won’t be lost if I am. I recommend other captains place their spare bits into the community fund for safekeeping. It’s getting just a bit dangerous out there.
Yesssss. Concur.
give 69.9 sb to Community Bank/David Falkayn Memorial Fund
Fellow Captains, here’s hoping to see you on the other side.
Take her out, Liz-Tenant.
Following your example, I’m transferring my remaining b15 to the Falkayn Memorial Community Fund. All other orders remain unchanged.
New Remaining Funds: b0
CC: @patrace
"Well, Pennywhistle you old blowhard, our compatriots are dropping like particularly massy objects in a sizeable gravity well. Something big. Like an asteroid, but bigger. Either the falling thing or the gravity well.
“Nevermind. What I’m saying, now, is that we didn’t do enough to help them, and we done hardly helped ourselves. Now we need help. But that’s fine, that’s fine. We’ll make us a name for ourselves yet. Let’s find us a coin!”
I would like to formally request a Loan of 32 bits so as to overhaul the fair ship Pennywhistle and take mission 2.
+---------- Ship ----------+-- HP ---+- FP -+- SH -+- EN -+- ST -+- LK -+- GRIT -+
| SLS Say Monkey | 29/96 | 24 | 29 | 23 | 31 | 25 | 4 |
+--------------------------+---------+------+------+------+------+------+--------+
Hat: None
StarBits: b200.0000
I felt a great disturbance, as if millions of beverages suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
I wonder where Duck’s went?
Repairs and Mission Selection
b120 - Complete Overhaul (Full HP / +10 Max HP / +2 SH)
b60 - Scan Scrambler (2 ST) x3
b20 - Mission 2 - Follow the Money