Badass Space Dragon - Duck's Pond

"oh… wince "

"… so Browf not have as good luck with moose ladies as Browf want believe … "

“Browf ‘struck out’ more than usual… Hah!”


So at least thirty captains have headed out.

Now things will get pretty quiet for a while. Oddlly for a dive, Duck’s tends to be quieter during the weekend than during the week.

Definitely be ready to go on Monday, when the captains return from their missions.

1 Like

I’m supposed to be in the Vega system, covering the astrocycle racing, but I heard about this lizard called Nixon in some backwater called Charybdis, figured I’d see what was happening here, so my attorney and I hired a ship.

We were somewhere around Barnard’s Star when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should fly…” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge lobsters, all swooping and screeching and diving around the ship, which was going about a hundred light years an hour with the top down to Charybdis. And a voice was screaming: “Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?”

The sporting editors had also given me 300 StarBits in cash, most of which was already spent on extremely dangerous drugs. The cargo hold of the ship looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw aether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug-collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.

The only thing that really worried me was the aether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an aether binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

How long can we maintain? I wonder. How long before one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely system was the last known home of the Mondo family. Will he make that grim connection…

No point mentioning those lobsters, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.

The ship suddenly veered out of hyperspace and we came to a sliding halt at the docking bay of the Duck’s Pond. I was hurled against the dashboard. My attorney was slumped over the controls. “What’s wrong?” I yelled. “We can’t stop here. This is lobster country!"


Fear and Loathing in Charybdis

A Savage Journey to the Heart of the Galactic Dream

I hope you brought enough grapefruit. Beware of visions of humans when you check into your hotel… and make mine a Bloody Mary.


@daneel @bizmail_public

I have no idea what you young people are talking about.

Camera pan to show the interior of the IGNOBLE CALUMNIE.



Here’s a book that might help you with your queen troubles.



It has been brought to my attention that the Round 1 thread locked early. This slug race is a stall/extension. If you haven’t submitted your Round 1 mission selection, you have a short window. Let’s say 6pm AKST (7pm PST). Just drop them in the following thread along with any slug bets.



Mission thread closed three bally minutes before I submitted my gif, I mean mission choice.

For the public record:

Heads, no tails, no wait. Heads…

  • b10 - Unizone Shield Boosters (+2 SH)
  • b20 - Hull Whole Hole Filler (+10HP) x2
    b50 [credit]

Heads! Mission 1.


Continuing the discussion from Badass Space Dragon 2.0 - Round 2 - Cut & Paste:

StarBits: b30.4000
StarBets: -6.0 (come on sluggos)
Mission 3: -10b

**Buy now, pay later! Carry up to b50 in Unizone debt!**

-b20 - Unizone Blasters (+4 FP)
-b20 - Unizone Lucky Dashboard Bobble (+2LK)
1 Like

I wouldn’t say he’s Irresistibly Hot™, but the pilot of that there conveyance does have an admirable beard.



Public Notice

Resolution of Credit Dispute

From the Law Offices of Skynham and Burnham,
Richard “Racehorse” HaynesChief Counsel
Polesotechnic League

RE: Unizone’s Parts for Partners Program

Dear Unizone:
Our client, Captain Falkayn of the Muddlin’ Through, is enrolled in Unizone’s Parts for Partners Program (PPP), where he has made successful deliveries and bought multiple communications packages. In the most recent circular, the PPP announced two new features of the program:

Buy now, pay later!


Carry up to b50 in Unizone debt!

Under both Malacostraca vs Cervidae and Plessy vs Ferguson, Missouri the legal obligation of Unizone to it’s sub-contractors is clear: so long as the the item in question is touched by Unizone during it’s “chain of ownership,” Unizone must honor the offer of credit. Since (1) Unizone will be the de Jure owner of the sandfish from the moment of acquisition, ( the sandfish crates are clearly a “part” under common law practice), and (2) Unizone is the de Facto “controlling interest” via its dominant position in sandfish distribution, the law is clear:

Unizone is legally obligated to provide Factor Financing up to B50 worth of sandfish for delivery to a proximal Unizone sandfish processing facility.

That said, a Captain Slaal, widely believed to be a Unizone “insider”, recently posted a legally flawed interpretation. Should Unizone apply Slaal’s incorrect interpretation and deny Falkayn the full B50 credit, the Polesotechnic League will seek a full legal remedy under the InterGalactic Commerce Code.

While we are confident we would prevail, such a case could take considerably longer than the next few cycles to resolve, to the great detriment of Unizone’s public standing. Thus, we are willing to consider an alternative proposal:

Let Captain Falkayn buy the Communications Package on Credit under the PPP, thereby carrying a B10 credit balance with PPP, while Captain Falkayn uses B10 of his cash balance to buy one crate of sandfish.

We look forward to your prompt reply and speedy resolution.

Richard “Racehorse” Haynes

From Unizone Corporation Legal Defense,
Graham Clackington Esquire, Space Lawyer

RE: RE: Unizone’s Parts for Partners Program

Dear Sir,

The Unizone Corporation stands behind our valuable partners.

While we do not appreciate the aggressive nature of your letter, we do fully support your client and our partner, Captain Falkyn. The Unizone PPP and Debt Enhancement programs exist to give our partners a leg-up and we fully support creative uses of these programs.

It is unfortunate that this legal posturing has been so counter productive, wasting both Unizone time and cutting into the limited resources of your client. In the future, please suggest to your client that he consider contacting his Unizone support representative before engaging legal services.

Captain Falkyn’s credit line for sand fish has been approved and processed, less your b25 attorney fee.

In your letter you also mention a Captain Slaal and refer to him as an “insider.” This idle accusation and paranoia serves little purpose. At Unizone, we are a family and we view every partner as an “insider.”

Graham Clackington Esquire, Space Lawyer

Unizone Corporation
Legal Department



Spaaaaaaaaaaaace! Laaaaaaaaaaaaawyer!


I’ve known others who’ve felt the same way.


1 Like


Whoa, what?!

When did I become a Unizone insider? I’m just a hard working trader trying to make a starbit (or a few spacebits, with some luck) to upgrade my vessel (I do like to go fast) and cybernetics and downgrade my lobsterness. If they want to give me insider status, I would hope they would upgrade me ship (and body) a fair bit more than I am already.

Unizone actually has me a bit anxious, just by their ubiquity in the galaxy and the way they are spreading money around and making debtors of us simple traders. What happens when we can’t pay? Will they choose missions for us, with minimal returns? I’m hoping to avoid that trap, but when you’re angling for money, the most obvious place to get it is from those with the bits.

1 Like

Christian Red

1 Like


Captains are allowed to transfer starbits between each other, independent of Unizone. This is important because

The handful of mission 3 captains who will earn the b60.0 “extravagant tip” will be in a position to act as a non-Unizone banker to other captains.

Sure, these Outstanding Service Providers (I don’t want to know what you did to “earn” a b60.0 tip) could bling their ships like moose calf on her first trip to the parts store, but that would be a waste of a terrific opportunity.

Self-interested cooperation is the basis of all success

A better use of your windfall would be to become a banker to your fellow captains. The Majority of captains started the current mission in debt to Unizone. [That can’t end well][1].

However, the several hundred space bits in tips from Mission 3 will allow those excellent service providers to both free themselves from Unizone’s credit demands and help their fellow captains escape debt. Even better they will make more money for themselves when they do so.

Self-interested cooperation is the basis of all success

I have broad experience with such “community banking.”. I look forward to consulting, free of charge, with anyone who wants to make their own balance sheet stronger while building long-lasting partnerships with their fellow captains.

–David Falkayn
Capatin, Muddlin’ Through

One more tip: a financially optimal setup is for captains to set up risk sharing pools whereby captains agree ahead of time to share their tips. There is still time for the smarter MIssion Three captains to make such agreements amongst themselves.

@jlw @gwwar @old @glutnix @OtherMichael @newliminted @PromptedInk @Felipe_Budinich


This is Krill O'Reefie, reporting from the Charbydis System for Lobst News (TM). 

It seems that the notorious organizer Captain David Falkayn is at it again, this time trying to establish a distributed crypto-banking alternative to Unizone. Glorious Unizone, for all your shopping, death mission, and kitchen appliance needs.

This type of "Orbiting Bankers' Alliance Making Aid" could be used by those in need of REPAIR to circumvent the Unizone's legally bought monopoly. 

Know that I won't trust some O.B.A.M.A.REPAIR scheme with fixing my family wagon.

This has been Krill O'Reefie for Lobst News. We Retort, Then Deride.

Is Charybdis a right to work system?